I'm just going to let it all out there and be blatantly honest. I have mommy guilt. It's something I've suffered from, from the very moment that I left my child for the first time. It's not that I don't think he's well taken care of, or that he's not gaining just as much from others as he gains from me, and it's not that I don't love to have a little time for myself every now and then. I can't really place my finger on it, but it's there, constantly nagging at my heart, it's the pit in my stomach.
I recently accepted a position as the RN at the Iroquois Center in Greensburg, and I am so excited for this new opportunity. But that pit in my stomach? Awful tonight. I will no longer be home with my boy on Wednesday's and Friday's. Instead, I will be working 5 days a week, but will have regular business hours and no holidays or weekends. Fantastic hours, fantastic benefits, but my mommy guilt is wearing me down! How will I survive this? How do I get this to subside? Any suggestions?
My kids have always had wonderful daycare providers. .which makes it easier!! The bright side is, you'll have better hours. .and at some point, maybe you can figure out how to get an extra day off. Hoping it gets easier!
ReplyDeleteOh Megan. I wish I had some wise words of wisdom for you, but I don't. My boys are REALLY old, and I STILL struggle with mommy guilt at times.
ReplyDeleteGet in a routine and it will be easier. Change is so very hard at times! Hang in there!!
It never really goes away...it will creep back up and attack with a vengeance every once in awhile. Like when you have had a bad day, or when Jackson is cranky. You will catch yourself thinking, "He wouldn't act like this if I were just home with him." What you have to remember is that he will always love you the most. He will be quick to forgive and will always be there with a hug or a kiss or a smile to make you feel better. I hope your new job is a good change for you and that you enjoy all the benefits is has to offer!!
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