Tonight has been a rough night for me(from a mental standpoint)here at work. I keep saying to myself, "in order to be a good nurse with lots of experience, you have to start out being a nurse that makes mistakes, is anxious, worries about what COULD happen(even though it's probably not going to), and knows exactly what she SHOULD have done...but if only she'd thought of it 10 minutes sooner!" Yes, I keep saying it to myself...over and over, but still all I really want to do is cry my eyes out! Before you freak out--no, I did not harm anyone, put anyone in danger, or screw up medically--it was just a case of "the super-green nurse syndrome." And yes, now I'll know next time! :) I can hear my dad now..."At least you learned something from it!"
So...here's what I'm running through my head each time the above runs through my head!
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
Oh Meg!! That's a good verse! That is a part of what we all must go through--yucky! It took me a long time to figure out that what is going to happen IS going to happen--regardless of what I do or what I don't do or what I CAN or CAN'T do. When you see people die that shouldn't have because they were in the right place at the right time and everything possible was done--and then you see people live that SHOULDN'T have because they were not in the RIGHT place and things went wrong, and you didn't have the stuff you needed and on and on, pretty soon it is quite apparent that GOD IS in control, and everything is in his time. If you start praying now in your head every time you have questions or concerns--he tells you--I call it the nagging voice--but it isn't nagging at all--it is soft and gets my attention EVERY time--and you learn whose voice it is--and you learn to obey it--there are many people today that are living because I learned to listen to that voice! I call that a GOD deal!! Tune in now and you WON'T miss it when you need Him!! Love ya!
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